Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Speed Bump


Sometimes things do not go as planned. We have hit a small speed bump.

I have been feeling a lot of anxiety about these next two weeks. In order to not carry this burden alone, I have been praying for strength and asking others to do the same. It worked. Yesterday I felt at peace with everything to come. I spoke with several friends and commented that the prayers were definitely working because I was actually feeling good about the week ahead. 

Ellie and I got up this morning and headed to the hospital. There may have been a little grumbling. Ellie because she was NPO (no food allowed this morning), and me because I was experiencing a massive headache due to caffeine withdrawals (this was not the best time to quit coffee). But, overall we were both feeling good about the day ahead.

(Enter the speed bump)

Ellie did not make counts. Her ANC is 480. It needed to be above 750. So, nothing can be done this week. Everything is delayed until next week. And, she is neutropenic again. Ugh.

Ellie was very happy to hear that she was able to go home.

I'm not gonna lie, this felt like a big hit. It's really not, but it just feels like it. Her doctor assured us that this is a perfectly normal thing to have happen, especially at this point in treatment. Some children get delayed a week, some 2-3 weeks. Everything is just so hard on their bodies, and every child can respond differently.

So, what do we do? We wait until next Tuesday and try again. If she does not make counts again, then we keep waiting until her little body is strong enough to handle these drugs.

What is the blessing in all of this? Well, I firmly believe that our Heavenly Father is watching over Ellie and He knew that this was not the day for her. A friend reminded me that everything happens for a reason, and we do not know know the reasons why it was probably best for her not to be admitted today. 

For the next 24 hours, I only have one little girl to take care of and we get to be at home together. 

Finally...sitting here, cuddling with her...you know that wonderful smell that newborns have? (Moms, you know what I'm talking about.) I just discovered that Ellie, once again, has that smell. I will continue to cuddle her for as long as she will let me.

Thank you for your continued prayer over Ellie. Please pray that her body gets stronger and her counts go up.

Please pray for Eva and Nora as they adjust to school, and understanding and comfort for them as Ellie continues with her treatment.


  1. God is with you and he does have a plan. Your faith is unstoppable and you and Mike are an example to others. Prayers continue for Ellie! Hugs and love to you all.

  2. I'm praying for your sweet Ellie daily, as well as her sisters, you and Mike. You're as strong as I remember you being when we were younger. You're an amazing woman! Much love and many continued prayers.

  3. Debi - Thank you so much for your comment and continued prayers. I just pray and hope that we can make something good come from this, even if it's just helping other families.

    Ashley - (If this is who I think it is...) Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. It was good to hear from you, as it meant a lot to me. Thank you for continuing to pray for Ellie.