The First of the Lasts

I will never forget Ellie's first lumbar puncture. 

Both of them.

Ellie's very first spinal tap was when she was just 11 days old. She caught a cold from one of her sisters, spiked a fever, and was immediately sent to the ER. Standard protocol required this procedure as well as a hospital stay. Mike and I were terrified that something this medically serious was happening to our baby.

In the end, she ended up being fine. All of the testing revealed that it was simply a cold and nothing else.

Diddy, when she was so fresh and so clean, clean.

Ellie's next "first" spinal tap was just as memorable. Same procedure, except this time chemotherapy was going to be injected into her spinal fluid. And again, Mike and I were just as terrified that something so medically serious was happening to our baby.

I will never forget how I felt that day. Some of the details of the day are a bit fuzzy, but I will never forget the terror and helplessness that I felt. That lumbar puncture signaled the beginning of Ellie's treatment. A length of treatment that we could not comprehend. 

Dr. Mogul was the person that performed Ellie's first LP. I vividly remember him telling us, "She will be fine. She is in good hands.". But it was OUR baby, and this was different. For us. For Dr. Mogul, this was just another LP, but still, Ellie was not another patient. He took great care of not only Ellie, but Mike and I too. I also remember him telling us, "I have done tens of thousands of these.", and all I could think was, "I don't believe you. How is that even possible? But, there's no way you would lie about something like that. Not now. Not in this moment. OK, I'm choosing to believe you because I have no other choice.".

I now realize how that number is possible. It's a good thing that the doctors did not tell us everything at once. Ellie's treatment involved roughly 15 lumbar punctures over the next 26 months. That's just one kid. Suddenly, "tens of thousands" seems a little low.

We were given the option to hold Ellie while they put her to sleep, so naturally I took it. Big mistake. Never hold your child while they are being put under, unless you are prepared. Almost instantaneously, Ellie's eyes rolled into the back of her head and her body went limp in my arms. Whatever level of emotional instability I was operating at increased 100 fold in that moment. 

Ellie survived that procedure with flying colors, and went on to go through many, many more. Each one filled with a little less anxiety. It never got easy, but it did become less difficult. And you know what? Ellie is going to be fine. 

Well, we are beyond thrilled to report that this past Tuesday Ellie underwent her LAST LUMBAR PUNCTURE!!!

Ellie was not in the mood to take pictures with people at this point, but I still got one with Ms. Judy.

"I want to see Dr. Mogul so I can dance with him." - Ellie

Whenever she is NPO, Ellie always ends up falling asleep.

The first of the lasts has begun! Over the next month, Ellie will hit several treatment milestones and we hope to celebrate each one. Our plan was to celebrate with family and close friends on Tuesday after Ellie left the hospital, but that day ended up being much longer than we anticipated, at just over 9 hours long. So, we moved it to the following evening and relished the fact that Ellie will no longer have to undergo lumbar punctures. It seems surreal to be so close to the end, yet we could not be more excited!